An Invisible Thread — this wild tapestry

* Guest Post by Blaine Bradburn *

I deleted my Facebook.

My Instagram.

My Twitter.

I no longer have a Pinterest account, any news apps, and I’ve slowly been picking through the 45,000+ unread emails in my inbox. As I unsubscribe from email chains covering everything between electronics and marathons or self-help topics and mega-sales I feel unburdened.

Deleting the emails and removing myself from the social media sphere has been an incredibly difficult and eye opening experience. For years I have received emails, reminders, invitations, and notifications to literally hundreds of thousands of things – which is kind of awesome when I think of all the opportunities available to me – except when I remember I now have 45,000+ opportunities missed, sitting unopened in my inbox.

The same story played out with Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. I could scroll past dozens of posts, pictures, and events without ever taking any of the information in. There were hundreds of people’s life experiences sliding up the screen and I wouldn’t stop for one of them.

"It turns out most people scroll by my life too, and that’s okay. "

I realized I had a problem.

I didn’t care.

I had become apathetic in social media and my email, which eventually overflowed into my everyday life. Overwhelmed by opportunities and obligations, I lost sight of how these tools could enhance my life and instead let them take over. Social media consumed my free-time.

Every moment in line

* scroll *

Every lull in conversation

* scroll *

Watching TV

* scroll *

I couldn’t even tell you what I was looking at other than a screen. My depth of interaction with my device, which was only screen deep, eventually became the depth of my human interactions. If you weren’t interesting or immediately useful, well then, I would just scroll through the conversation. I would tune out, or engage on a level so shallow that both parties left with nothing gained nor closer in relationship. The horrible, dehumanizing effect of social media and global access in my life was that I felt more disconnected than ever.

So, I unplugged.

I full-stop deleted everything, unsubscribed from over 150 email chains, deleted all 45,000+ unread messages and started fresh with nothing.

To the web of social media and online retailers I became invisible and the results have been refreshing.

My social network is down to face-to-face conversations, phone calls, and texts. The only invitations I get are from people I talk to (and don’t clutter my inbox). My calendar is only full of what I put there, as in physically write down, and my time is no longer consumed by a blur of unrecognizable pictures and posts.

I may no longer have hundreds of “friends” and “followers,” and I may miss out on some big events or the latest news, but, I feel a lot more connected to the people I do love and interact with. I don’t get news updates, sale notifications, or “events near me,” but I have a lot more attention for the people in front of me.

When I talk with my wife or friends, they get all my attention. There’s no glancing at phones to fill the time. We let silence be, because at least we are together and that is enough.

Since disconnecting, I pay more attention to what is happening in my immediate vicinity. I’m more interested and invested because I am more connected to what is physically present to my circumstances. I shrank my world from a global scale to a local scale by turning off some notifications (distractions).

As the thread tying me to the burden of social media and the pressure of a “connected” world has come undone, the invisible thread connecting me to the people and places around me has grown stronger. As the bond strengthens, my drive and passion to act and impact my community has increased.

I had two fears with getting offline. The first was that I would lose touch and not know what was going on in the world, and therefore become apathetic to the suffering of the global community. The reality was that I was already apathetic and numb, every new disaster or attack only remained in my consciousness if it was in my notifications. The truth is, as I removed distractions, I focused on the pain of the people around me and those I loved, which is something I could act on and help.

My second fear was of being forgotten. If no one got the notification my birthday was coming up, would anyone even know? The reality was, no one would know or care unless they got a notification. It turns out most people scroll by my life too, and that’s okay. The truth is, I don’t miss the passing attention of dozens of strangers and retailers. I’ve grown closer to the people who matter, the people I love. The people whose attention I crave, I already have. They don’t need notifications, because they pay attention.

I don’t profess that everyone should go this route. I am not railing against the machine of social networking.

I lost my value for depth and connection, but found it when I disconnected.

- Blaine Bradburn